By popular demand: Ethics Committee Kangaroo Court

From last Thursday's meeting of the Ethics Committee:

Helena Guergis beat me up and stole my lunch.

Traffic has been kind of slow lately so I figured I would try to get picked up by National News Watch. For those of you that don't know, NNW had a link up yesterday to this story and continued to keep the link up even though within a short period of time the story was debunked by many people, including the author of the blog that the Hill Times blog entry was supposedly based on.

One good truth deserves another, so here is my 'truth'.


Helena Guergis beat me up and stole my lunch.


Wow. That was kind of liberating. As my therapist says; the road to healing starts with being able to speak about traumatic events, and let me tell you the day that Helena beat me up and stole my lunch will live in infamy in the annals of my personal traumatic events.

It also feels good to join the pile on; you should give it a try as well. I hear that it is all the rage at present.


Come on National News Watch, what are you waiting for? Do I need to write a letter to my MP to get some action from the press on this outrage?

The Recession Hits The Mole.

Do you remember the various "mole" stories from a couple of years back about a Liberal insider who was leaking out all sorts of damaging stuff or just generally creating havoc from within the LPC?

If you do remember "The Mole" we have some bad news for you tonight.

It was announced today that the so called "Liberal Mole" has been laid off. The current recession was cited as the reason Mr.Mole was being let go, but insiders suggest that his position recently has become redundant since this guy assumed the leadership of the LPC.





The mole was good, said the insider, but the new guy is even better. It really is too bad the recession made us have to cut one of them.

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Editorial comment: Keep up the good work new guy.

Video of PM Harper in Sault Ste. Marie, Ont on the new reality.

This morning at the OLO

Aide: Good morning sir, here is your much needed coffee.

Michael Ignatieff: Thank you Jeeves. By the way have you seen my media scan of the latest news stories about me?

Aide: Nice weather we are having.

MI: Um, yes it is but I would prefer a rainy day over a sunny one. I get some of my best thoughts thunk on rainy days. (long pause) Now where is that media scan?

Aide: The dog ate it sir.

MI: Dog? I don't have a dog. I have a Burmese cat who like myself is a rather refined creature who would never resort to eating common things such as a paper.

Aide: Er, I have to go. I am pretty sure that I left a roast in the oven and my front door unlocked so......

MI: Somehow I am having a hard time believing that Jeeves since you are a vegetarian and you live in my basement. Is there something in that scan that you think I shouldn't see?

Aide: (pointing to the other side of the room) What's that? (running out of room while MI turns his head)

MI: Jeeves? Jeeves? (Goes back to drinking his coffee)

(a knock at the door)

MI: (Looks up) Come on in Bob.

Bob Rae: Good morning leader, how is your coffee today? Oh and I have a copy of today's media scan for you. (smiles as he hands MI a copy of the media scan)



The latest top 5 stories for Liberal Party found at Google News at the time of writing:

Fall election risky for Liberals.

Ignatieff needs a makeover.

A cure for election fever.

Ignatieff missing in action.

Fall election might not be good for Liberals.

2 hours lost and other weekend thoughts.

A few thoughts and mini link dump for a Saturday.

First the political: Could someone please explain to me why unions( CUPE, USW, CEP) have standing at the NDP convention and are allowed to submit policy proposals to the floor? Local EDA's can do this as they are made up of paid party members who are supposed to represent the members/grassroots in their EDA's. They do the party grunt work and are the backbone of the party so this is understandable, but why unions? Unions are no longer allowed to donate money directly to political parties, they are not representative of any type of grassroots, they do not vote, and although they can spend to advertise and do lobby both in out of the writ period, this spending is not guaranteed and certainly it is not guaranteed to be for the benefit of the NDP. Also since the unions never ask or put to a vote of their own members if they should be spending money advocating for a particular political party, or coming up with policy proposals for that party, why would such non democratic principles be welcomed in a party that wants to now be called the Democratic Party?

I would really like to hear the reasoning and logic for allowing this. Anyone?

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Arrrg. Without looking it up I would say that we have already lost well over 2 hours of sunlight a day since the start of summer, last night there was a frost warning for outside of the city, and the leaves on my neighbors tree are starting to turn yellow; all of this can only mean one thing, I must kill that damn tree. Perhaps there is hope though, maybe PM Harper does have a weather machine and can stop all of this nonsense.

Related: From the above linked Scott Feschuck article comes perhaps the best subtle burn of the month: On Ignatieff "Author of several great books and also his latest book." Ouch!

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Some US politics: I know this is being discussed all over the web but I think these 3 videos sum up the nuttiness and hypocrisy of the left in a way words cannot.







So the Democrats like protesters when it suits them but play the Nazi card when the protests are against them. Lovely and typical.

Here is Glen Beck with a very nice collection of idiocy and hypocrisy.



What is up with using all of these Nazi references anyway? Pelosi opened the can of worms with her comments above and since then the floodgates have been opened with all sides comparing everyone and everything to Nazis. Are they not aware how desperate and foolish this looks? There is even a law on this subject: Godwin's Law: "As a Usenet (online) discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1." Which basically means that when you play the Nazi card you have already lost the argument.


This is insane. Where will this nonsense end? I mean the next thing you know anyone wearing a black hat with a skull on it is going to be called a Nazi.

Real Nazi:


Not a real Nazi:
Which is silly; I mean they could just be a pirate or any number of other things ;)





Lighten up it is a joke and goes to show just how stupid playing the Nazi card really is so don't sue me.

Enjoy your weekend.

Something lighter for a Monday morning: 16 Tons parody

I saw this at Hunter's place and thought that such a well done parody deserved recognition and its own post.

The Ghost of Tennessee Ernie Ford. (video deleted from Youtube but try here.)



The original 16 Tons.

PM Harper has gone too far this time.

I am outraged!


Sorry my partisan friends but I cannot keep silent on this issue any longer. When will this pandering to Quebec stop?



PM Harper has some serious explaining to do about this.

Ignatieff makes the sports page.

From The Lighter Side of Sports by Cam Hutchinson, Star Phoenix, Canwest News Service.


"People keep referring to Mine That Bird as a Canadian horse, even though he was foaled in Kentucky. To me, Mine That Bird is about as Canadian as Michael Ignatieff."

Zing!

This time the Canadian Press has gone too far.

I know the MSM seem to lean towards Dion and his left wing buddies but this is ridiculous!

A member of the Bush family gets revenge on the media

With a little over 70 days left in the Whitehouse, it is no holds barred in the battle with the media.

Watch the video. (external link here)



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Mayor Stephen Mandel: I for one welcome our new alien overlords.

Global Edmonton News Hour August 27, 2008: In story about Mayor Mandel lining up to the Provincial Government money trough after the recent announcement of a large provincial budget surplus.

This sounds about right for our fiscally challenged mayor to be looking for more izzy money, but while watching the interview I noticed something very strange taking place behind Mayor Mandel, and it has me a bit worried.





Your eyes do not deceive you; that is a Klingon with purpose unknown mingling with some city councilors. All while the mayor distracts the media from the real story. Damn you MSM!

No matter the result of this strange alien encounter at city hall; I think that this city council will find a way to increase my taxes because of it. But don't blame me; I voted for Kodos!

Sneak Preview of the Closing Ceremonies in Beijing.

As luck would have it; I have obtained an advance copy of the program for the closing ceremonies of the Olympic games in Beijing.

Here it is.


Official release from the Politburo of Things for the National Interest and Truth.

Once the last event (Handball) comes to a conclusion and the last medals are awarded we will go directly to the following schedule.

Schedule:

The closing ceremonies: Beijing National Stadium (Birds Nest) 8 PM China Standard time

Art Director: Green helmet guy


The grand parade of all things that makes us better than you.

Musical number #1: Ashley Simpson

The Athletes enter the stadium: The flag bearers of the participating delegations and the name-board-bearers enter the stadium in single file. Behind them march the athletes, without distinction of nationality. The flag bearers then form a semi-circle behind the rostrum.

The President of the IOC and the President of the OCOG mount the rostrum. To the sounds of the Greek national anthem, the Greek flag is hoisted on the flagpole that stands to the right of the central flagpole used for the winners' flags. The flag of the host country is then hoisted on the central flagpole, while its anthem is played. Finally, the flag of the host country of the next Olympic Games is hoisted on the left hand flagpole to the strains of its anthem.

The mayor of the host city(Guo Jinlong) joins the President of the IOC on the rostrum and returns to him the Olympic flag. The president of the IOC then entrusts it to the mayor of the host city of the following Olympic Games (Mayor of London, Boris Johnson). This flag must be displayed in the latter city's main municipal building.

After the address of the President of the OCOG, the President of the IOC gives the closing speech which ends with the following words:"I declare the Games of the XXIX Olympiad closed and, in accordance with tradition, I call upon the youth of the world to assemble four years from now at London to celebrate with us there the Games of the XXX Olympiad"

A fanfare then sounds; the Olympic flame is extinguished, and while the Olympic anthem is being played, the Olympic flag is slowly lowered from the flagpole and, unfurled horizontally, carried out of the arena, followed by the flag bearers. A farewell song resounds.

The farewell song: Musical number #2 to be performed by very special guests*



The athletes file out of the stadium and we immediately fire up the power plants and resume production of counterfeit products to sell to them when they return home.

Program end.




* The Politburo is well aware that this would normally be impossible, but for the greater cultural good it will be made to happen as scheduled.

Martha Hall Findlay has forsaken me!

Oh what a sad day it is at the old anthill today as I have just found out that Steve Janke over at Angry in the Great White North received an email from Liberal MP Martha Hall Findlay in regards to comments she had made about Dion's carbon tax, and which Steve posted about here.
The very same comments that had I quoted in my post here a full 2 days before Steve made his post on his blog which contained a link to my original post.

FYI here is the MHF quote: "Findlay said it's impossible to calculate the emission reduction numbers at this point, "because energy prices have gone up so much, we don't know how the shift will affect consumption," she said."

Martha, why have you forsaken me for Janke? Am I not 'angry' enough to deserve an email from you, or perhaps is it because you prefer beavers who wear cute little toques over aardvarks?

I must know the truth. Why Martha, why?

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Update: Steve Janke linked to this post as his comments on the MHF email have been closed off. Feel free to add anything to the comments here.

Here is the email: My comments in bold

Assuming that you strive for accuracy, (If there was something inaccurate about the quote used, please let us know.)I have the following clarifications to make to one of your recent posts. You referred to comments on the Green Shift I made at an event, where I was discussing the impact of the Green Shift on the environment.

Adding a carbon tax to the burning of fossil fuels will, absolutely, have the effect of reducing emissions; I have never said otherwise. (Yes, but you have no idea how much, or even if the carbon tax will have any more affect than what the market is already doing. We do live in a northern climate and we do need to heat our homes and use electricity, so no matter how high those costs go Canadians are still going to have to use fossil fuels.)It has been demonstrated repeatedly, around the world, that adding to market forces is the most effective way to affect behaviour. ( Care to cite some examples of this with regards to CO2 emissions?) Those of us old enough remember significant fuel-reduction behaviour due to the 1970s oil crisis. ( That was the market that did this and not some feel good government policy disguised as an environment plan.)

There will be reductions in emissions from the Green Shift because we know that people will change their consumption patterns if polluting behaviours cost more. This is already occurring, to some extent, due to other factors in today’s market – namely rapidly increased oil prices. (I am glad you can see this is already occurring already because of the market. So why do you see the need to punish the poor even more by adding on more costs to them, by way of the Liberal proposed carbon tax?)The Green Shift, by adding a price on the burning of other carbon dioxide emitters, – coal is a prime and very polluting example – will reduce emissions even more. (Are you suggesting that the big coal users, like power plants, are going to burn less coal because it is going to cost them more, rather than just passing those added costs on to the consumer?)

My point is that both increased market oil prices and the imposition of a price on the burning of other fossil fuels, when working together, will reduce green-house gas emissions even further. It will, however, be difficult to determine the exact proportions of the reduction attributable to each. ( Thank you for confirming your original quote that you do not know how the carbon tax will affect consumption. And for accuracy's sake, that was the point that myself and Steve Janke made with our blog posts.)

Reducing emissions, helping people deal with immediate energy costs through significant income tax cuts, and encouraging investment in green technology and renewable energy sources, all at the same time – it sure sounds pretty good to me. (Yes it does sound good, but are you now making the promise that those tax cuts we get back are going to cover ALL of the increased costs brought on by the green shift?)

(I didn't think so. Because like emission reductions, you have no idea just what those costs are going to really be.)

Finally, a picky point perhaps, but for future reference, my last name is Hall Findlay, not just Findlay. (You are going to have to talk to Steve about that one, but as Jen pointed out in the comments; the next time you mention the PM please be sure to refer to him as Prime Minister Harper and not just Harper.)

Thank you.

Martha Hall Findlay
Member of Parliament / Députée
Willowdale
Associate Finance Critic / porte-parole associée en matière de finances

PM Harper Bring him home now.

Enough is enough; it is time that the government of Canada did the right thing and repatriated a Canadian citizen currently being oppressed in a foreign jail. We have all seen his videos and we know the truth.

I don't care if he allegedly committed his crime in the US and that some of you feel that he should be tried and held to those barbaric US laws. As a Canadian he deserves the protection of the Charter. The corrupt legal system of the US is well known and I doubt, with all the expected publicity that is sure to follow, that he will be able to receive a fair trial under such a system. He is Canadian who has rights, and we as a society have a moral obligation to do the right thing no matter who they are.

Mr. Harper please put a stop to this travesty of justice and do the right thing.

Bring Steven Page home now!



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Update: (Developing) According to my sources Paula Todd and Dan McTeague have both been seen heading towards the home of Steven Page's mother with camera crews in tow.

That Was Then This is Now.

(cue host) Hello, and welcome once again to That Was Then This is now. The show where we look at the Liberal Party of Canada and their much varied positions over the years.

You may remember past episodes such as our top rated show on the GST.

Then: Abolish "We have put in writing that the GST will not be there and will be replaced by a system that will be a better one." Jean Cretien

Now: Increase "We will consider if in our plan we need to revisit the decision of the government about the GST. We'll consider it." Stephane Dion

Ha, ha, ha, it was one of our favorite shows as well, but tonight this episode will deal with a topic on many of your minds lately; the environment.

Who here can remember back just a short time ago to December 2007 in Bali?

Well, that was..

Then: Liberals of all shapes and sizes as well as various other lefties were screaming at the top of their lungs that Canada's position in Bali, to get China and India to commit to reducing CO2, was wrong & would be hardship on those "developing" countries.

This is Now: Punishing China, India, and all of the other developing countries with a carbon tariff on their goods. "We will build carbon pricing into our strategy for international trade, endeavouring where possible to ensure that goods from countries that are not pricing carbon will face a tariff reflective of carbon content."

I guess that this confirms that Mr.Bairds position, that China and India must be on board for any meaningful reductions to happen, was right from the beginning. I wonder how China now feels after their Bali buddy Dion went out of his way to let them off of the hook of carbon reductions and now sideswipes them with a punishing tariff for not having a plan for those very same reductions. I hope they don't get mad.


Still on the environment we have this little contradiction in logic for you.

Then: Liberals claiming that the conservative $100/month per child universal child care benefit would not do anything to help with childcare and the money would be wasted.

Some quotes: "Don't give people $25 a day to blow on beer and popcorn."

“The Conservative approach is one-dimensional, lacks vision, and fails to address the tax system’s bias against single-earner families with one parent at home,” & "‘little more than a symbolic gesture’ toward stay-at-home parents. Let’s be honest, the Conservative approach is just your basic tax cut in disguise and is one that undermines families who use organized day care for their children.”

Well it certainly uh uh, the approach to child care is just spiteful its its its canceling the supplement for our most vulnerable uh children. There is actually no plan for early learning and childhood education. So its a good job there putting more money for prisons in the budget because we're gonna need them if we don't get this early childhood right.

"My understanding of what he's talking about is a program that will probably give you roughly $25 a week. What are low- and middle-income Canadians going to do for the rest of the week?"

Well right back at ya Liberals because

Now: The Liberal are claiming that the small cheque from Greenshift tax cuts will not only pay for and solve climate change, but cure poverty, provide social justice, and will somehow cover the increased costs on EVERYTHING from Dion's carbon tax.

It seems that the Liberal Party of Canada change their policies and ideas more often than they change their clothes; as is shown in this last example we have for you today.

On a carbon tax.

Then: Against (Dion isn't the only one either) "I've always been against it. I will have other ways to get there." and "A carbon tax is less effective than a carbon market at reducing emissions. Some of my opponents for the Liberal leadership have suggested that a carbon tax would be the most effective measure to curb climate pollution. This is simply bad policy...." More of the same here.

Now: For "More precisely, we will tax fossil fuels, like coal and natural gas, according to the amount of carbon dioxide they emit when they are burned. This carbon tax will be....."



It looks like our time is up for today, but we will be sure to return in the near future with another episode of That Was Then This is Now.

Good night everybody, and a big thank you to our sponsor, the Liberal Party of Canada. Who without their constant changing of positions this show would not be possible. (wave to audience)


(Cue theme music, fade out.)

Breaking: Liberal infighting continues. Iggy compares Rae to...

This just in from AWM (Anteater Worldwide Media™).


Michael Ignatieff, Member of Parliament for Etobicoke-Lakeshore, former leadership contender, and Deputy Leader of the Liberal Party of Canada shocked the camp of newly elected MP Bob Rae earlier this week when he compared Mr. Rae to that of the late great comedian Bob Hope. On his blog, Mr. Ignatieff made the following curious entry dated March 15th.

From michaelignatieff.ca:

I'm in rainy Vancouver knocking on doors in Quadra for Joyce Murray.
On election day I'll be in Willowdale for Martha and in Toronto Centre for Bob Hope. ....

Absolutely shocking, if you ask this reporter!!
What exactly was Mr. Ignatieff implying, and when did he first feel that the words joke and Bob Rae belong together?

Liberal insiders are saying that this may just be a case the current big dog on the hill for the LPC just spraying a little bit in the direction of the new pup, but our source close to the Rae campaign had something a little more ominous to say when we caught up with her earlier today.

"What do you mean he said Bob Rae was funny?
What do you mean, you mean the way he talks? What?
Funny how? What's funny about it?
You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little #%$&@ up maybe, but Rae is funny how, I mean funny like he is a clown, and he amuses Iggy? He makes him laugh, that Rae is here to &#%@' amuse him? What do you mean funny, funny how? How is he funny?"

The interview ended there as our source stormed out of the Starbucks almost spilling her extra large frothy coffee beverage, and she was heard mumbling under her breath something about calling Rae being a really good fellow and that Mr.A from across the river would not be happy when he hears of this. When pressed later in a telephone inquiry about the meaning of her last muttering, our source denied making the statement and asked if we knew of a good travel agent.

This all after reports of even more dissension coming from within the top ranks of the Liberal Party of Canada. Speculation that there is an active campaign against Stephane Dion from within as party leader continues to grow as the story made Canada's top political program.

Where will this all end up? Stay tuned for further updates.

Please note that we are currently having some labour unrest here at Anteater Worldwide Media™ Our edtitors have walked off the job so we expect some issues with typos, punctuation, etc, to arise over the next few days in our unbiased reporting, while negotiations between the money grubbing union and senior management forge ahead. We the management of AWM thank you for your patience.

Update March 22nd, 2008. Our crack team of management editors has spotted our error of the missed period. We apologize for our error, and would like to remind everyone out there that there really is nothing at all funny about Bob Rae.

Thank you.

Late update: Bob Hope and some political humour ht John West in the comments at SDA.

Entertainment tonight from the ethics commitee, sort of

Thanks Mary. I am standing a few feet away from the doors to the ethics committee room where Karlheinz Schreiber is expected to testify later today, and all I can say is that you can feel the excitement in the air as people start to file by on the red carpet. It is a who's who of media celebrities as they gather to cover an event that the average Canadian could care less about. One thing you can say about the Canadian MSM Mary, is they know where their bread is buttered.

The security is tight today as the throng of reporters busily attempt to interview anyone who walks by, or in the event no one is walking by, themselves. I just talked with the CBC's Nancy Wilson about today's events which see called "very interesting", and we both agree that their has not been this much excitement among the press in Ottawa since the PM had his last press conference. I wanted to speak with Blogging Tory Stephen Taylor, but some members of the PPG ran him off with a pitchfork when they spotted him earlier in the day, so he was unavailable for comment.

Still plenty more to see today as, oh wait, look over there; I see Jane Taber and CoJo doing as who is hot and who is not on fashion segment. Both of them are wondering if Mr. Schreiber will be wearing his orange jumpsuit today or a new suit that his lawyer Edward Greenspan picked up in Chicago on business recently. On the other side of the red carpet I think I see Mike Duffy interviewing Jim Travers, no wait, it looks like Don Newman is interviewing Travers, no wait again, Duffy and Newman are now fighting over who is going to interview Travers, oh the humanity. Good thing that Chantel Hubert has now stepped in to separate the two or it could have been very messy.

It is indeed a media frenzy here Mary! or perhaps circus would be a better word.

Before I go I will leave you with this bit of breaking news. I just ran into Ben Mulroney doing a bit for CTV, and he promised me that he would be doing an exclusive interview with one of the big names from the hearings. I couldn't get him to reveal the name, but he promises that it will be big, your guess is as good as mine so I guess we will just have to wait and see who it is and ignore the idol chatter until then.

Back to you in the studio Mary, or was that Cheryl?

Karlheinz Schreiber, the rider

After some deep sleuthing in places better not spoken of in public; I now present the rider from:

Karlheinz Schreiber, The Cross Canada Tour. Now in it's 8th hilarious year.


1. Limousine to and from the Committee hearing/s.

2. Bail.

3. 3 cartons of DuMaurier Lights.

4. The Justice Minister must delay his deportation.

5. A pretty little flower pot of white gardenias.

6. At least 2 days to review papers.

7. A 10 litre glass bowl filled with Smarties* in the dressing room. Under no circumstances are there to any blue Smarties or I just won't talk.

8. ........

This time they have gone too far!!

The evil conservative right wing agenda has revealed itself. They have finally gone to far, and I do not know about you, but I am not going to put up with this nonsense in any way shape or form from the Harper government

I do understand that sometimes things are done by governments to try to gain the votes among certain select areas of the population, but this is so over the top that I have to speak out on behalf of my country.

What am I talking about you ask?

Earlier today ,while I was visiting an official website of a department of the government of Canada, I came across this and managed to get a screenshot of the madness.


Please click on the picture below to enlarge and feel the outrage.


Yes, it is true. The Conservative government, in cahoots with Environment Canada, has decided to eliminate Mondays from the calender!!!!

It might be a subversive way to help meet our Kyoto targets, or it just might be a ploy to piss off Paul Martin's buddy Bono and appeal to Bob Geldof, but either way this outright pandering for votes must stop immediately. I am unsure how Stephane Dion feels about this, but all I can say is that so far his silence on this has been greatly disturbing.


Al

I don't like Mondays either, but come on.

Environmental Sustainability and Me.

Yesterday over at Exactly Right, I read that Ontario is going to ban the sale of incandescent light bulbs by the year 2012 in an effort to help save energy, and today I see that the feds have announced a similar plan.

With all the environmental talk that has been coming at me from all sides and sources as of late, and perhaps being a wee bit inspired by Stephane Dion's much repeated words about how money can be made off of a green environment; reading the above stories about the proposed ban has caused a light bulb to go on in my head.

Effective 2012, I am going into the incandescent light bulb black market. It will be a few years before it really gets going but like the shrewd capitalist I am, I will start marketing immediately.

----

Do you have a chandelier?

A flood light in your yard, or even a flashlight?

Have you been losing sleep about how Kim Mitchell will light his patio lanterns after the ban?

Well worry no more good people of Canada, because the Ardvark will soon be able to help you deal with this draconian ban on Thomas Edison's greatest gift to all humanity. We care not for authority or rules, we just want the good people of this country to be able to bask in the glow that is incandescent light. Coming soon to a back alley or parking lot near you!!

Watch this space for details.



Ardvark
Environmental and economic sustainability are not just slogans of the Liberals, they are what I am all about and I have the record to prove it.

Act now and Ill throw in some social justice for no charge.