Monday, December 08, 2008

Fun with advanced coalition math.

Class, simmer down. Today we are going to discuss coalition math.

The basic premise of coalition math = The Conservatives were elected with 38% of the vote therefore 62% of Canadians voted against them and the Prime Minister.

Forgetting the obvious that you do not vote against anyone but rather you vote for someone, lets look at the math in more detail.

CPC 38%

Lib 26%

NDP 18%

Bloc 10%

So 26 + 18 + 10 = 62

62? No it doesn't. It equals 54. What the hell?

Now why haven't I ever heard that number used by the coalition? Why is it always 64% ?

Time for recess while I check on my facts. Take 15 everyone.

This just in. The coalition expands to include the following political parties:

AAEV Party of Canada, CAP, Christian Heritage Party, Communist, FPNP, Green Party, Libertarian, Marxist-Leninist, neorhino, NL First Party, PC Party, PPP, Radical Marijuana, WBP, the Work Less Party, and all Independents.

That is going to be one ugly caucus meeting, but I am sure that all of those that cast votes for the above parties are 100% totally in favour of their votes for something being counted as if they were votes cast against something else.

Democracy and math, coalition style.


So now that we understand the insane logic behind the use of the 62% number by the coalition, lets apply the same logic to their own performance in the past election.

Liberal 74% against.

NDP 82% against.

Bloc 90% against.

So class if we use the same principles and logic that the coalition uses we can clearly see that

246% of Canadians voted against the coalition.

Sorry but that is all the time we have for today. Remember that next week you will have a guest instructor in my place.

A Mr. Broadbent will be coming in to instruct you on how to infiltrate and take over a political party without their knowledge. I am advised by Mr. Broadbent that you should read Chapter 1 "Get someone on the inside" before coming to class next week.

Class dismissed.


Anonymous said...

Loser + Loser + Loser doesn't =Winner

Loser + Loser + Loser = Loser

Anonymous said...

nice. i loved the 246% bit.

maryT said...

This reminded me of an old Ma and Pa Kettle movie scene explaining that 5% of 25 is 14.

Rich said...

I am absolutely amazed at the Mathematical genius of the three Stooges of Coup scam. Accordingly there was 62% of Canadian voters that did not vote for Mr Harper; good trick since the total number of votes cast in the last election was 59.6% of which Mr Harper captured 38%. Taliban Jack please tell me what sort of new fangled math are you using so that we can be on the same page