Thursday, February 04, 2010

If we had a Liberal government.

If we had a Liberal government today's headline would read:

Canada has announced that it is planning to send aid to Haiti, 3 weeks after it suffered a devastating earthquake.

"As soon as we are able to secure a plane to rent from the Russians we will be sending relief supplies along with Dr Henry Morgentaler to Haiti." said Foreign Affairs Minister Bob Rae, adding that " We are pleased that our response time has improved since the 2004 tsunami." Responding to criticism from the opposition over the alleged "delay", Rae responded harshly, "Parliament was on our scheduled winter break and when the MP's are on a break the government essentially is shut down and nothing can get done. Everyone knows that". The PPG all applauded in unison when Rae was done speaking and headed off to write opinion pieces about how wrong the opposition Conservatives are to be criticizing the Liberal government when it is so obvious that they are doing such great job at everything.


Anonymous said...

I like sarcasm, but stop it! :-)

It hurts when I laugh unexpectedly and spray beer through the nose.

Jen said...

If we had a Liberal Government canada will fall into the wrong hands. And the media will keep the warnings a secret.
If we had a Liberal government, OMAR KHADR will be working for them.
If we had a Liberal government, Layton will be the Finance Minister and Duceppe will be the foreign minister.

If we had a LIBERAL GOVERNMENT, most likely the taliban terrorists will be in canada.
If we had a Liberal government corruption will continue.
If we had a Liberal government you will be free from paying back your campaign loans.

Paul M said...

Simply fantastic!

CanadianSense said...

In Ontario we already have a tax and spend Liberal.

Ardvark said...

And one who wants to prorogue but is currently too scared to do so.

CanadianSense said...

I was trying to work in the mommy angle but after the Mel Lastman clearing the snow with our military, I try not to bring up our premier too much.

Anonymous said...

I am afraid to countenance a Liberal government.
Not before it's time.

When Mulroney broke the camel's back by awarding the CF-18 contract to Montreal he took the easy way out.
And then we had Kim Campbell.

I hate that woman.
She was a horrible justice minister who let Milgaard rot for years.
That she was Prime Minister for even a moment is galling to me.

She was an example then of an idea whose time had come.
Just like that affirmative action light weight called Obama.
Who says we always follow the Americans?

I was a lot younger then but I remember not being disappointed at all that the Liberals won the 1993 election.
I was more angry that the Tories had squandered everything they had finally gained in 1984.
And I felt no shame telling the joke that the Tory party had become a restaurant reservation.

What followed in its wake was similar to the plot of Asimov's Foundation Trilogy.
Thirteen years of Dark Age Liberal corruption and lies fed by the incompetence of Joe Clark and Jean Charest.
And the missed opportunity of Preston Manning.
Business as usual.

Had the Reform party been a separatist movement instead of a protest vote things may have turned out different. Manning's mistake back then was to try to be Jimmy Stewart in Ottawa instead of George Washington in Western Canada.
And he too fed the beast.

Ignatieff is starting to sound like the Liberal that campaigns from the left and governs from the right. Seductive to some in the fractured Liberal coalition.

But not to me.
And I think not to a lot of people.
Donolo has in the last little while resurrected the abortion debate and the national child care program.

Recycled a bogeyman and a false promise.
I'd say fuck him but he's just shown how bankrupt the Liberals are.
Another yesterday man stuck in amber.
That war room serial continues.

But it's not time for another Liberal government until this one goes too far over the line.

Blame Crash said...

Actually, I would guess that they’d invoke their “Buy Canadian” policy and rent the plane from a Montreal advertising or polling company, who would then rent the plane from the Russians.

Then every family member of the Montreal company employees could “donate” the yearly maximum to the Liberal Party for the next several years.

Of course the manufacturers and retailers of brown paper bags would also benefit because of the increase in the demand for their product. A “token of appreciation” from then would also be expected.

Like they say “never let a crisis go to waste”

Anonymous said...

If we had a Liberal government there's a better than fifty, fifty chance that they would so screw Alberta that we would have to separate.
Go Liberals, Go!!!!

Anonymous said...

If we had a Liberal government the Count and Obama would have knocked each other out bowing at their first meeting.
If we had a Liberal government Ellie Green May would have been Enviromental minister in Copenhagen.
If we had Liberal government the Senate would now be loaded with enough Liberals for the next 15 years.

Bec said...

Has anyone else noticed the good old Bush bashing/PM Harper comparison?

Does the Liberal group of entitled geniuses, listen to the Obama speeches and then plan their daily talking points?

As for Anony's @ 9:59 hysterical and dead on analysis, I think Mr "I" Canadian would bow lower than Mr "I" American. Mr "I" Canadian, would bow low enough to kiss Mr "I's" American boots.....ordered of course from the top, the real boot lickers not the figurehead himself.

These guys are sooo last year!I guess they aren't following the reality that the bloom has come off of the rose in the U.S.!