Monday, April 02, 2007

New Dion Drinking game. ™

Ok, I think I may have discovered a great way to not only get drunk, but to also allow many of you the chance to actually make it through one of Stephane Dion's speeches without the usual urge to harm yourself that come with listening to Dion.

Loosely based on the famous ''Hi Bob" drinking game, I decided to jot down a few rules and then give it a road test to see how it would play and make necessary modifications in the name of science.

The following is a live blogging of the first test of the new game:

First the basic rules: Any time Dion uses any form of the word ideology, you take a drink. The same applies for the use of the word agenda.

A good start, but it may need some fine tuning to turn into a national pastime. Now it's time for the trial. Beverage ready and the speech about to start, so here we go.

Nothing yet, the usual introductions and the subject of the speech today is the Canadian Wheat Board. OK, only seconds in and we get our first "Because of ideology, Prime Minister Stephen Harper is determined to kill the Wheat Board." (drink taken)

So now Dion is going on about the history of the CWB. "
Cleanliness'', What is he going on about? We are not opening up a restaurant with raw wheat here. "But Stephen Harper is attacking the Wheat Board, because it doesn’t fit with his rigid ideology." Ah ha!! Another one, this time with an adjective. New rule added. ( 2 drinks taken)

...and filled the spaces with his ideological cronies." Holy crap that was fast (Drink taken)

So now Dion is talking about the recent vote on barley, a vote that Mr.Social Justice is not going to honour. "
I know a little bit about clarity." Clarity, damn I should add that in as well. (Drink taken)

At the end of the day, the Conservative government isn’t interested in democracy, and it isn’t interested in doing what’s best for farmers." Huh? The PM is the one who is going to listen to farmers and let their votes count. You are the one not interested in democracy.

Dion is now going on how important the CWB is to farmers. Ya sure it is but so are their opinions Steph. "
There’s so much at risk – all because this Prime Minister is forcing his ideology down farmers’ throats, no matter what." (drink taken)

The same ideology that dislikes the Wheat Board dislikes other kinds of agricultural support too." Oh crap, that was only mere seconds after the last one. (Drink taken) Time for a refill! Good thing I stocked up before it started.

and a government that care more about ideology than helping farmers." Yee ha!! (Drink taken) They are coming fast and furious now; I barely had time to crack off the cap.

A bit of a side track as Dion brings up equalization. Hey, pal lots of talk but I notice that you didn't say anything about what you would have done. For a guy who doesn't even acknowledge a fiscal imbalance this is rich.

Protecting that future starts with fighting back against Stephen Harper’s ideological attack on the Wheat Board." (Drink taken) Is it getting warm in here? (shirt removed)

It serves you, not some neoconservative agenda in Ottawa." I declare a new rule! any mention of neocon requires you to finish off your sweet sweet beverage. (Remainder of beverage happily ingested) Time for a new beverage.

Ohhhhh, andwhat about if he brings up Bush? That would call for a double. Hey, I missed an agenda (drink taken) I should write this down but I can't find my pen.

Let’s tell him to stop forcing his ideology down your throats. Let’s tell him to show some respect for farmers, and some respect for democracy." (Drink taken)

The speech comes to an end.

You know I have herd much about Dions poor English, but he is sounding just fine to me and i can understand him prefectly.

I think I had better finsh this off later because uh....
Did I ever tell you guys that I love you? I really do, and it aint the booze talking either. I remember when i first starte #g (unplanned nap)

End Live blogging


Play responsibly!!


Spitfire said...

New rule: If Dion says "unfair" you have to chug your drink....

Ardvark said...

I like it! But more research may be necessary.


Expect a Scott Brison "bully" version to be released very soon.