Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Today's Faux News

Jack Layton today called for Canadian astronaut Steve MacLean to immediately be pulled from his mission on the space shuttle Atlantis.

Layton stated, "Canadians do not want to be a part of George Bush's space program." "The shuttle program was a direct off shoot from the US military research, and Canadians do not want to be apart of the militarization of space." "Canadians are not war mongers on earth, and are not war mongers in space."

When reminded that MacLean could not be pulled from the shuttle at this point as it would mean his immediate death if he left the shuttle, Layton ignored the question and replied "I support our astronaut 100%, but not this Bush neocon mission that was not debated in Parliament and is without UN approval." "Bring him home now!!"

He added that "Our Canada arm should also be pulled from the shuttle and sent to the Sudan to hold the warring factions apart." (see comments)

When asked about the comments of one of his MP's that Martians should be taken of the list of official aliens, Layton stated that "I think he was misquoted, but the only way for lasting peace is to talk with the Martians and exchange ideas" adding that "Canadians have a long history of peace making in space."

William Shatner could not be reached for comment.


Anonymous said...

Everytime Layton opens his mouth, he proves to me he is a fool.

Anonymous said...

hmm...methinks he would've sent the canada arm to hold apart the warring factions in sudan...

Ardvark said...

I think I shall amend my post to include your (much better) use for the Canadarm.

Thanks Mr. and or Miss Anonymous.