Friday, April 04, 2008

My sincere regrets. Real Early Edition.

I am sure all of you are already aware of the video tape making the rounds of MP Tom Lukiwski that was taken 16 years ago at an office party. So in an effort to head off any potential future problems that I may encounter if I indeed do decide to toss my hat into the ring in 16 or 20 years to run for the local Sharia Governing Council (or which ever level or form of government that the future brings). I will take this opportunity to apologize and offer my deepest regrets, in advance, for my past transgressions.

Warning links might not be appropriate in every setting.

For Video tapes that may surface in the future: I would like to offer my regrets to the trans gendered, cross dressers, women with very hairy legs, and bad lounge singers, for my unfortunate behaviour in a video taken in 1990 where I am clearly seen to be dancing on the hood of a '83 Chevy Short box while wearing only a short red skirt and lip syncing into a floodlight microphone while trying not to spill my beverage. My drunken actions at that time do not represent my current views and I am sorry to all offended.

The other tape that might surface appears to show a well endowed female taking off her shirt in front of me, and while I did not, or do not, support the use of women as objects, the video was for an unfinished homemade film project and must be considered art. Sorry, no apologies for art and future lefties will agree with this stand.

For my past taste in music: This list encompasses just about everyone, so as not to leave anyone out by omission, I will say sorry to every individual and group out there for my past and I guess even current listening habits. Yes I did like the Dire Straits song "Money for nothing", I also have listened to others such as Frank Zappa, Tobe Keith, Snoop Dog, Madonna and many others, and I would like to state for the record that some of the lyrics or views of the artists do not represent my opinions of the world. In my defence I did listen to Elton Motello back in '82 in both official languages, so maybe it balances out?

Past voting practices: Sorry CPC. I did once vote for the Liberal Party of Canada at a time before they were taken over by left thinking morons who stand for nothing, and I am very sorry for doing so.

1992: Lets just say I am very sorry for what I can remember, as well as all the stuff that I can't remember, that may come to light in the future about the year of debauchery that was known as 1992.

This is getting much harder than I thought it would be when I started typing it out. If I must be accountable for every single thing I have said, done, or thought since birth this list is going to be very long and drawn out, so I had better stop now. Oh, the birth comment reminded me of something that I said back in grade 4 when I proudly I declared all girls to be "yucky". I am ever so sorry to all the ladies for that one, and have since mended my ways; so much so that I married one. So indeed there is hope and just a simple example of how people can change and grow.

If the CBC, NDP, and this country can forgive enough to name Tommy Douglas as the Greatest Canadian, and if the Liberals can forgive Stephane Dion for being a proud Quebec separatist, I hold out hope that the public can also find it in their hearts to forgive me as well.

In the future of course.


Joanne (True Blue) said...


Anonymous said...


hunter said...

Well done! You forgot the time you lipped off your Dad! Also, wasn't snapping girls bras the big thing to do in junior high?

Ardvark said...

Ah yes, snapping bras. I think that was about the time girls didn't become so yucky.

Anyone who says they did not do or say anything in their past that was not offensive to somebody is a liar. Things change, people change, ideas change.

It was a different time in so many ways.In the early '90s AIDS patients were placed in isolation in hospitals. Gowns, masks and gloves were worn by healthcare professionals to protect themselves from what what was something very misunderstood even by science. Some guy in a bad suit in Saskatchewan couldn't be expected to know more than doctors did at the time.