New private members bill a logical extension of the bilingual SC bill

My sources in Ottawa have alerted me to a new private members bill which may be introduced some time in the next few weeks.

The subject: our Olympic athletes.

The proposed private members bill appears to be a logical extension of another recent private members bill, C-232, which requires supreme court justices to be fully bilingual. A bill fully supported by all of the opposition parties.

The new bill proposes that only fully bilingual athletes be allowed to represent Canada on the world stage.

An anonymous comment from the leader of a major party on the proposed bill :"There's a French fact in Canada, which is important. It's not the case that French isn't a part of the sports heritage, just look at the French terms in sports. Grand Prix, Dressage, Derailleur, and the sport of the common people, fencing, is full of French terms such as engarde, Coupé, Sabre and many more." adding "You want to get on the Olympic team? You might want to study a little French."


Sydney Crosby was unavailable for comment.

The Recession Hits The Mole.

Do you remember the various "mole" stories from a couple of years back about a Liberal insider who was leaking out all sorts of damaging stuff or just generally creating havoc from within the LPC?

If you do remember "The Mole" we have some bad news for you tonight.

It was announced today that the so called "Liberal Mole" has been laid off. The current recession was cited as the reason Mr.Mole was being let go, but insiders suggest that his position recently has become redundant since this guy assumed the leadership of the LPC.





The mole was good, said the insider, but the new guy is even better. It really is too bad the recession made us have to cut one of them.

.

Editorial comment: Keep up the good work new guy.

Video of PM Harper in Sault Ste. Marie, Ont on the new reality.

This Weeks Outrage: Entertainment Industry Edition.

Not to be out done by the big "entertainment industry outrage" story this week about an obscure late night Fox News show called Redeye where the host and guest panel basically dissed the Canadian Armed Forces in a lame attempt at humour; Britney Spears seems to have stirred up some outrage of her own with the release of a new song, "If U Seek Amy".

Shocked? I know I am because I did not think that there could possibly be any outrage for the entertainment industry left after the fallout from the Redeye thing. I mean it was everywhere; first on the blogs, then the papers, and when it had eventually made it onto the television news I thought that there could not be anymore, but I was wrong. Wrong because my fellow citizens have once again proven that the well of outrage towards entertainers seems to never come up dry.

So a big thank you to my fellow citizens for the good work. It is because of you that I can sleep at night knowing of your efforts to keep the entertainers closely monitored for the nasty and evil crime of offending people.

And here I thought that this was the reason why we have HRC's.

Silly Ardvark.



Let me close out by quoting a A. Wine who in 1982 said:

"If you see Kay, tell her I need her."





Good night and remember Leave Britney Alone!!! (NSFW)

The Progressive Left Calls Upon the CMA...

An AWM Exclusive:

Members of the so called progressive left have called upon the Canadian Medical Association and it's provincial counterparts to ban Muslim doctors from practicing medicine in Canada. The general consensus of the left seems to be that a belief in a higher power and the science of medicine cannot coexist together and that Islamic doctors should be banned from practicing in this country for the safety of the Canadian public. Jeffrey Moonbat a spokesman for the left stated "We cannot have doctors that believe that things happen because of the will of Allah while ignoring the science." He added, "A real risk with this type of archaic thinking is that it is possible that an Islamic doctor may not put forth the necessary and expected effort to treat those that get sick or injured because the disease or illness might be Allah's work." "Modern medicine is science based and the will of Allah is not science."


In related news; rumour has it that CUPE Ontario is proposing a motion that Muslim professors be banned from lecturing in the pure sciences on university campuses.

More to come on this story as more information becomes available.

-----------------

This ladies and gentlemen this is the progressive left in this country again showing their respect for the constitutional rights of others to their beliefs by discriminating against them in their choice of vocations based solely on religious beliefs.

Just the type of thing that human rights commissions in this country were set up investigate and prosecute. It is too bad that HRC's are so busy prosecuting the free speech of Canadians that they ignore very obvious and real violations of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Jack Layton can't meet with Obama; attempts to have him arrested.

Breaking News from Ottawa.

Disgruntled because he will not be allowed to meet with US President Barack Obama today during his short visit to Canada; Jack Layton files a complaint with the RCMP to have Obama arrested for plagiarism.


Update: RCMP laughs in Layton's face.



Coming soon. Another AWM exclusive report: We are currently working on a story highlighting the hypocrisy of the left. It is regarding how the NDP along with all other left wing and environmentalist groups are totally ignoring the massive amount of CO2 emissions that are the direct result of this 5 hours visit only because of their excitement that The One is visiting Canada. The left didn't seem to like this kind of thing before.

Airforce 1, the motorcade, and that C-17 Globmaster that delivered and will returning those vehicles do not fill their gas tanks with hope and change just because Obama is President.
FYI the fuel capacity of the C-17 = 134,556 Litres.

Jack Layton to move into Stornoway as leader of the opposition.

An AWM exclusive: Don't call the movers yet Iggy.

Having had his plans of being in a coalition cabinet thwarted by newly anointed interim Liberal leader Micheal Ignatieff; Jack Layton has made a deal with Bloc leader Gilles Duceppe that would have the NDP named as the official opposition with Layton as leader.

Similar to the failed tripartite coalition agreement the 2 parties are expected to approach the Speaker of the House of Commons with a letter of intent outlining their cooperation in forming the official opposition as their 2 parties combined have more seats than the now current official opposition Liberals.

An NDP insider said; "If Mr. Ignatieff will not honour the coalition agreement that he signed then we have no other choice but to do what Canadians have already strongly voiced with their votes in the last election." adding that "74% of Canadians voted against the Liberals being the official opposition and we are following along with the great traditions of our democracy by doing what the voters intended."

Our phone calls to the Liberal Party of Canada were not returned.

Free Seminar: How to make money with the Liberal carbon tax:

Dear blog reader: Do you want to be rich?

Dear reader this is your chance to learn the secrets that can make your life easier and bring in wealth beyond your wildest dreams all with the help of Stephane Dion's carbon tax. (as a special bonus today I offer a free sneak peek of one of our most basic and popular secrets. One of many that what you will learn by taking part in our exclusive seminar. Keep reading)

Our highly sought after program will teach you all that you really need to know to profit in Canada under such a repressive tax system as the Green Shift. While the rest of the population suffers under the weight of it all, you can come out ahead by applying the simple lessons learned at our exclusive seminar. But you must respond today to ensure entry.

By confirming your reservation now I will guarantee your seat at an exclusive financial seminar to be held in your area in the near future; probably at some seedy hotel out near the airport.


Here is just a small selection of available sessions:

Tax planning: Businesses really do not pay taxes. (at least with their own money)

Sending cash to your brother in law and claiming it as 'Green R&D' (sold out)

Hidden opportunities: Thriving in the black market.

Unfair disadvantage: Selling your stock in Canadian companies before the tax hits.

New business ideas: How to set up a "millions of new green jobs" employment agency.

Specialized training: The believable shoulder shrug.

The Gore: Buying carbon credits from yourself.

Investment Opportunities: Buying farmland, trucks, and fishing boats cheap.

and many many more!


This is the chance of a lifetime to get ahead of the curve and profit from Dion's Carbon tax. Seating is limited and if you want to guarantee your place you must confirm your space now.

Operators are standing by.

--------------------------------------------------------

As promised a sneak peak at our most popular session; Pass it on and then some*.

Everyone is expecting prices to raise under a carbon tax as your own and every other business passes on the increased costs to the consumer; this is expected and should not be a surprise to anyone. (see tax planning session B)

Example A . ' Your Product ' currently retails for $10 and this allows for a $2 profit. With your carbon tax hit passed on to the customer (already expected by the consumer) the new selling price will have to raise to $12.50 to maintain the current profit margin.

So why not take advantage of the expected increases and tack an a few extra bucks for yourself? In our example why not tack on another $1.50 for a new retail price of $14.00?

Your customers will complain and they will not be happy but you now have the option of just shrugging your shoulders, blaming the Liberals and counting your record profits.

*Prerequisite: Believable shoulder shrug.

Remember, this is just a short example of what you can learn at our exclusive seminar. Call now and I will see you soon.

That Was Then This is Now.

(cue host) Hello, and welcome once again to That Was Then This is now. The show where we look at the Liberal Party of Canada and their much varied positions over the years.

You may remember past episodes such as our top rated show on the GST.

Then: Abolish "We have put in writing that the GST will not be there and will be replaced by a system that will be a better one." Jean Cretien

Now: Increase "We will consider if in our plan we need to revisit the decision of the government about the GST. We'll consider it." Stephane Dion

Ha, ha, ha, it was one of our favorite shows as well, but tonight this episode will deal with a topic on many of your minds lately; the environment.

Who here can remember back just a short time ago to December 2007 in Bali?

Well, that was..

Then: Liberals of all shapes and sizes as well as various other lefties were screaming at the top of their lungs that Canada's position in Bali, to get China and India to commit to reducing CO2, was wrong & would be hardship on those "developing" countries.

This is Now: Punishing China, India, and all of the other developing countries with a carbon tariff on their goods. "We will build carbon pricing into our strategy for international trade, endeavouring where possible to ensure that goods from countries that are not pricing carbon will face a tariff reflective of carbon content."

I guess that this confirms that Mr.Bairds position, that China and India must be on board for any meaningful reductions to happen, was right from the beginning. I wonder how China now feels after their Bali buddy Dion went out of his way to let them off of the hook of carbon reductions and now sideswipes them with a punishing tariff for not having a plan for those very same reductions. I hope they don't get mad.


Still on the environment we have this little contradiction in logic for you.

Then: Liberals claiming that the conservative $100/month per child universal child care benefit would not do anything to help with childcare and the money would be wasted.

Some quotes: "Don't give people $25 a day to blow on beer and popcorn."

“The Conservative approach is one-dimensional, lacks vision, and fails to address the tax system’s bias against single-earner families with one parent at home,” & "‘little more than a symbolic gesture’ toward stay-at-home parents. Let’s be honest, the Conservative approach is just your basic tax cut in disguise and is one that undermines families who use organized day care for their children.”

Well it certainly uh uh, the approach to child care is just spiteful its its its canceling the supplement for our most vulnerable uh children. There is actually no plan for early learning and childhood education. So its a good job there putting more money for prisons in the budget because we're gonna need them if we don't get this early childhood right.

"My understanding of what he's talking about is a program that will probably give you roughly $25 a week. What are low- and middle-income Canadians going to do for the rest of the week?"

Well right back at ya Liberals because

Now: The Liberal are claiming that the small cheque from Greenshift tax cuts will not only pay for and solve climate change, but cure poverty, provide social justice, and will somehow cover the increased costs on EVERYTHING from Dion's carbon tax.

It seems that the Liberal Party of Canada change their policies and ideas more often than they change their clothes; as is shown in this last example we have for you today.

On a carbon tax.

Then: Against (Dion isn't the only one either) "I've always been against it. I will have other ways to get there." and "A carbon tax is less effective than a carbon market at reducing emissions. Some of my opponents for the Liberal leadership have suggested that a carbon tax would be the most effective measure to curb climate pollution. This is simply bad policy...." More of the same here.

Now: For "More precisely, we will tax fossil fuels, like coal and natural gas, according to the amount of carbon dioxide they emit when they are burned. This carbon tax will be....."



It looks like our time is up for today, but we will be sure to return in the near future with another episode of That Was Then This is Now.

Good night everybody, and a big thank you to our sponsor, the Liberal Party of Canada. Who without their constant changing of positions this show would not be possible. (wave to audience)


(Cue theme music, fade out.)

Breaking: Liberal infighting continues. Iggy compares Rae to...

This just in from AWM (Anteater Worldwide Media™).


Michael Ignatieff, Member of Parliament for Etobicoke-Lakeshore, former leadership contender, and Deputy Leader of the Liberal Party of Canada shocked the camp of newly elected MP Bob Rae earlier this week when he compared Mr. Rae to that of the late great comedian Bob Hope. On his blog, Mr. Ignatieff made the following curious entry dated March 15th.

From michaelignatieff.ca:

I'm in rainy Vancouver knocking on doors in Quadra for Joyce Murray.
On election day I'll be in Willowdale for Martha and in Toronto Centre for Bob Hope. ....

Absolutely shocking, if you ask this reporter!!
What exactly was Mr. Ignatieff implying, and when did he first feel that the words joke and Bob Rae belong together?

Liberal insiders are saying that this may just be a case the current big dog on the hill for the LPC just spraying a little bit in the direction of the new pup, but our source close to the Rae campaign had something a little more ominous to say when we caught up with her earlier today.

"What do you mean he said Bob Rae was funny?
What do you mean, you mean the way he talks? What?
Funny how? What's funny about it?
You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little #%$&@ up maybe, but Rae is funny how, I mean funny like he is a clown, and he amuses Iggy? He makes him laugh, that Rae is here to &#%@' amuse him? What do you mean funny, funny how? How is he funny?"

The interview ended there as our source stormed out of the Starbucks almost spilling her extra large frothy coffee beverage, and she was heard mumbling under her breath something about calling Rae being a really good fellow and that Mr.A from across the river would not be happy when he hears of this. When pressed later in a telephone inquiry about the meaning of her last muttering, our source denied making the statement and asked if we knew of a good travel agent.

This all after reports of even more dissension coming from within the top ranks of the Liberal Party of Canada. Speculation that there is an active campaign against Stephane Dion from within as party leader continues to grow as the story made Canada's top political program.

Where will this all end up? Stay tuned for further updates.

Please note that we are currently having some labour unrest here at Anteater Worldwide Media™ Our edtitors have walked off the job so we expect some issues with typos, punctuation, etc, to arise over the next few days in our unbiased reporting, while negotiations between the money grubbing union and senior management forge ahead. We the management of AWM thank you for your patience.

Update March 22nd, 2008. Our crack team of management editors has spotted our error of the missed period. We apologize for our error, and would like to remind everyone out there that there really is nothing at all funny about Bob Rae.

Thank you.

Late update: Bob Hope and some political humour ht John West in the comments at SDA.

Mayor Miller calls for a ban on private vehicles in Toronto

Top Stories: January 18, 2011

Toronto: Mayor Miller today called on the majority Harper government to ban driving and the private ownership of automobiles in the City of Toronto. "There is no reason for any citizen to drive a vehicle within the City of Toronto". Miller said, "It is a crime to the environment and upon every last breathing creature on the earth to do anything else but take the TTC,"adding later that "We have spent billions of tax payer dollars on the TTC to save you from having to feel the guilt of driving."

Critics of the plan, upon having had their criticism scrutinized and approved for publication by the Ontario Human Rights Commission, noted that the excess costs could bankrupt the federal government which currently pays for approximately 90% percent of the GTA budget. "We cannot expect everyone in the country to pay for the utopia that we all know is Toronto." said a spokesman for the critics, being careful to note that at no time did he bring up the issue of private ownership rights as that would be against progressive thinking and be wrong.

Miller quickly shot back that because of the cost savings to the average auto owning citizen; his plan would free up about $500 extra dollars a month that could now be taxed to pay for the added expenses. Miller proudly exclaimed, "The people will be happy to pay extra money if it means they no longer have to worry about driving or the environmental damage they are causing." A consensus of economists praised the idea and supported the mayors numbers citing that $6000 is actually much less than what your average car owner pays in a year for the privilege of driving. "There is plenty of room there for even more taxes."


Calgary: Ezra Levant was denied parole today after he again refused to admit to the thought crimes he was convicted for in 2008. According to witnesses at the hearing, just before Mr Levant was carried away by prison guards for refusing to comply he gave a nasty tongue lashing to members of the parole board saying that they................

Karlheinz Schreiber, the rider

After some deep sleuthing in places better not spoken of in public; I now present the rider from:

Karlheinz Schreiber, The Cross Canada Tour. Now in it's 8th hilarious year.


1. Limousine to and from the Committee hearing/s.

2. Bail.

3. 3 cartons of DuMaurier Lights.

4. The Justice Minister must delay his deportation.

5. A pretty little flower pot of white gardenias.

6. At least 2 days to review papers.

7. A 10 litre glass bowl filled with Smarties* in the dressing room. Under no circumstances are there to any blue Smarties or I just won't talk.

8. ........

Breaking Faux News!!!!!

Anteater Worldwide Media™ has learned that the self proclaimed protector of the charter, Stephane Dion, is going to announce more flip flops rights based policy very soon.

Using some of the same justifications he has already given for whipping the Liberals against extending 2 provisions from the ATA, that individual rights are always more important than safety, Mr.Dion is expected to announce the first of many policies beginning with the following obtained by AWM™ from leaked documents:

"All forms of random roadside impaired driving spot check programs will be canceled, as they are an extreme use of police powers that infringe upon the basic rights of Canadians. It is an abuse of the charter to randomly stop anyone without just cause, and even if these programs are for public safety and considered to be a reasonable infringement on charter rights by the Supreme Court, we can not risk the conservative government to have such a power."

Follow up policies are to include:

The elimination of seat belts from automobiles and aircraft that are now ruthlessly imposed on industry by draconian Transport Canada regulations.

Removal of any laws dealing with conspiracy where no crime has yet been committed. Free speech is an absolute right and just because a couple of people are drawing up or discussing plans to kill someone or even everyone, there is no reason for the State to infringe on their free speech with these type of fascist laws in the name of so called safety.

*The elimination of all type of helmet laws for not only toboggans, but also bicycles and motorcycles, and banning any law demanding the use of child safety seats. Because the beer and popcorn crowd are limiting the rights of bouncing babies everywhere to bounce freely.

*It is noted in the leaked document that while these types of laws are provincial responsibilities; that it has never stopped the Liberals in the past from getting involved, and that they are willing to use the not withstanding clause in an effort to make sure our rights are not trampled on in the name of safety.

AWM™, working for Liberals Canadians in the quest for what is good, because we said so!